I picked up Shayne's Mens Health magazine and there was an article named "Why I Hate Fat People". I was intrigued, and so I read on.
In the article, it talked about fat(and please don't nag at me to not use that word) people are a social class that are discriminated against.
It also said that fat people hate fat people. Hmmm. I think that may be right.
I am not writing this blog post for everyone to say, "oh, you're not fat", or looking for any reassurance. And its not a pity party.
It's me, writing as someone who defines herself by her weight.
When I think of a describing word of myself, I think of "fat". If all the girls who HAD to shop at Lane Bryant were reallly honest with you, most of them would say the same thing. After all, they are in a "big girls" shop. NO ONE shops at Lane Bryant for fun.
When you are overweight, you do literally feel like the elephant in the room. You feel like you should wear a shirt that says "Yes, I know I am overweight". Because, if you admit it first, then no one can hurt you, you have already put it out there.
When you are oveweight, shopping isn't fun. Sure, I love jewelry and shoes...yeah, cuz theres no size issue there. Mall's arent fun...at all. Why would I want to go to the mall, where only 5% of the clothing in the entire space would fit me.
There are many phases and stages of how big girls think of themselves.
-the "who cares if I'm fat, I am really happy" stage. I drift in and out of this stage. Is it healthy? Aren't we supposed to teach our daughters to love themselves? I struggle with this, because we need to be healthy, emotionally and physically.
- the "if I lose weight, then my life will be perfect" stage. My husband will love me, my house will be cleaner,etc. Real denial there. But, its WAY easier to blame your life's problems on chunky thighs, and a big middle than explore the real problem.
-and then theres just plain denial, or just outright defeat. You really, really think that your clothes are shrinking, that a person like you could never succeed and conquer this demon.
So, why am I writing this? Because all of us know people who are overweight. All of us have thought "why don't they do something about it?", or "why don't they just exercise/or stop eating junk?". I am not asking for the world to accept obsesity, no way. But all of us have sisters, friends, moms or co-workers who live in a world where they literally feel like....
the elephant in the room.
4 comments:
I think it's ok to call out the elephant in the room, but to make it BE everything and the only thing isn't ok. Just my opinion, of course.
If it was just an issue of exercise and eating it would be easy... but, it's so much more.
Besides, I really like elephants... :)
Having my weight continually go up the past two years has not been fun, but a reality. I wish I could blame it all on stress and having a stupid body, but like Andrea said, it is so much more than any one thing and it shouldn't be the one thing that defines us. You and I are so much more than just our weight. I am trying the one day at a time and moderation in all things thing. Here's hoping....
Weight is a much bigger deal than it would be in a society without media. That's my 2 cents on that. There is a mentality that women need to look perfect. Heck it's not enough to be skinny, you also need implants and to work out 4-5 hours a day so you're toned up (but not muscular, heaven forbid!). Oh you probably should get surgery too. And no way should you have stretch marks after delivering a few babies. Sick!
Step back and look at it with perspective and it's almost laughable. We are all going to get old, saggy, wrinkly, droopy, and take a chunk out of our arm when we bump into the kitchen counter on the way to the bathroom because our skin is so thin with age. Sure we could all jump on the bandwagon and botox it up, stretch it out, pump it up, and cut it off but it's silly. You know what I think is one of the biggest reasons we age on earth? It's God's gift of a healthy perspective.
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