Don't you sometimes look around and say, "how did I get here?"
I wonder who's great idea was it for me to go back to school. Oh yeah, mine. But it was something I would talk about that would happen in the future. And now, my number is up.
I was at Anna M's house this week, and she was showing me these awesome curtains that she had made. I told her I was jealous, that is no understatement. And I am not insinuating that Anna isn't a busy lady, she very much is! But, somehow, curtains just aren't happening for me lately.
Neither is painting walls, making cards, scrapbooking, photography, yard work, exercise, shopping for fun, sewing, plucking my eyebrows, mopping floors, exfoliating, trying new recipes, and much, much more.
The honest truth is that if Shayne said he felt like we needed to have one or two more kids, I would be ALL OVER THAT. I feel like I have had to leave a piece of me behind as I accept the reality of no more babies, kindergartners, or just adding more Farrell's in general.
But, like I have said before, the no's have it.
I am also becoming aware that I am getting older with each birthday. Weird, beause 34 seemed so far away when I was a mommy to two at the age of 23.
I am trying hard to not wish my life away, a day or a week at a time. Because this phase most of us are all in, the working hard, planning, raising kids, saving money, fulfilling callings, is really tough! I will sware to anyone that the years of two toddlers was way EASIER than weeks with school, church and 7 sports games/practices all in seven days.
Maybe our memory will erase all the stress, and we will look back and say
"Once upon a time..." with no regrets.
Here's hoping that happens.
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5 comments:
I do laugh to think that I ever thought that I couldn't wait until the kids got a little older so it would be easier. If only I has known how good I had it when they were little. Sure, it was hard but in such a completely different day. I look back and realize how slower life was then. I think I would even take dirty diapers over homework! I can change them a whole lot faster:) I hope things will get easier for you and I too hope when looking back, we can see the good, fun stuff and forget all the exhaustion and stress!
This post is EXACTLY why I'm putting off having my kids in extracurricular activities for as long as possible. Sad, since I was always the kid in softball, soccer, and choir all at the same time. But since I'm still in the baby-makin' stage, I figure I need to procrastinate as long as I can with all that extra stuff.
Wanna come borrow my babies? That would make you feel better!
Kellie, we all have moments of "how did I get here?!!" I don't think you'll ever regret going back to school. But it sure is rough trying to balance everything! Sometimes I just think of Nemo and say, "just keep swimming, just keep swimming."
Well life handed me a HAHA moment when I got pregnant. When the docs told me nope not going to happen I took them seriously but life had other plans. So at 35 here I am a new mom. I do not regret it what so ever. I know that when you look back on it all you will not have any regrets either. You have always been an amazing person.
Good..
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